YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REDNECK JEDI IF: 1..You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all." 2..Your Jedi robe is camouflage 3..You have ever used your light saber to open a Bud. 4..At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored. 5..You have bantha horns on the front of your land speeder. 6..You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok 7..You have ever had an X-Wing up on blocks in your yard. 8..The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters. 9..Wookies are offended by your B.O. 10..you have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial. 11..You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling. 12..Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the darkside...it'll be a hoot." 13..You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light. 14..You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your landspeeder. 15..You think Han Solo would look better in a flannel cause he looks a little sissy in that vest. 16..You ever fantasized about Princess Leia wearing Daisy Duke shorts. 17..You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a redwood deck. 18..Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women. 19..You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels on the rocks during the cantina scene. 20..You have ever accidentally referred to the evil empire as "them damn Yankees." _________________________________ Top Ten Signs You've Seen the Star Wars Movies Too Many Times from The Late Show with David Letterman : 10. Your poodles are named "C," "3," "P" and "O" 9. You won't sleep with your wife unless she says, "Help me, Obi Wan, you're my only hope" 8. You spent $10,000 trying to Rogaine yourself into Chewbacca 7. You're continually stunned when the President makes major decisions without consulting Mark Hamill 6. Your favorite pickup line: "Would you like to handle my light saber?" 5. You keep referring to your lawn mower as "that crazy droid" 4. You spend most of your days trying to use "the Force" to open a can of pears 3. You once saw an eggplant that looked kind of like Darth Vader and almost had a heart attack 2. Your sex life is strictly "Han Solo," if you know what I mean 1. You like Yoda so much, you voted for Ross Perot irgendwie richtig geil !